iView Author: Suprateek Chatterjee (Mumbai, India)

Email: supchats [at] gmail [dot] com

————————————————————— Sinngh Is Revoltinng: Why Sinngh is King is the embodiment of everything that is currently wrong with Bollywood —————————————————————

Content:

It was like eating dinner at a roadside stall after having lunch at a respectably expensive restaurant. Sometime last week, in a period of less than 12 hours, I saw “Rock On”, followed by an excruciating bus ride from Pune to Mumbai during which I was subjected to “Sinngh is King” (My apologies to the producers if I have, err, got the spelling wrong).

First and foremost, “Rock On” is by no means a masterpiece, despite what several crazed teenyboppers might proclaim on cyberspace. It is highly watch-able, yes, and it is a landmark film by Bollywood standards, but does suffer from uneven performances by some, some stilted dialogue (which is jarring given that the rest of the writing is actually pretty good) and good ol’ fashioned predictability. However, it is a winsome, sincere effort, strikes a genuine chord, featuring some very nicely shot concert scenes, great music, high levels of energy throughout, and some surprisingly good performances namely from Farhan Akhtar and Shahana Goswami.

Right, then. Now that we’ve got THAT out of the way.

Hey Bhagwan.What else can one infer from the way India’s most boisterous, clean-hearted, jovial and sporting community is depicted in its films? Barring a few notable exceptions which come somewhat close to depicting them accurately (Jab We Met perhaps, Boman Irani’s Lucky Singh are the ones I can remember off the top of my head), our sardars are often turned into loud caricatures, almost always synonymous with dim-witted humour and must ALWAYS be accompanied by dhols playing in the background. Apparently sardars can break into the bhangra anywhere, anytime.

Theek hai, theek hai, you say. After all SIK is made purely in the name of puerile entertainment. My question is at what point will Indian audiences actually reject a film then? Of course, one may argue that for every SIK there are several other lame-brain flicks which fail miserably at the box-office. I ask you then, why did this particular lame-brain film succeed? For it has succeeded, and how, with shows still going strong in many centers. It is easily the biggest hit of the year and quite likely to remain so. That’s something to ponder about.

The following are what I think are the factors that lead to movies like SIK being mega-hits. Some of these may be both positive as well as negative factors, depending on your perspective. ________________________________________________________________________

1) The Akshay Kumar Factor

Yup, having the country’s hottest mega-star in your movie helps. Just ask Vipul Shah, Priyadarshan, Anees Bazmee and a host of others. Akshay Kumar, who has commendably garnered a commanding presence at the B.O. despite the Khans, is a star who is immensely liked by millions. AK has succeeded in the industry despite not having a godfather backing him up, despite not having any previous training well, despite not having worked with the traditional big banners and names, and hell, despite the fact that for the longest time, the guy couldn’t really act. Akshay Kumar has matured into a fine comic actor of late however, and his dashing good looks and enviable physique aren’t negative points either. However, is the presence of a star enough? SIK, to be honest, worked for the most part, when the star delivered his lines with his trademark sincerity, timing, not to mention that endearing gummy grin. However, a few well-timed moments does not a good movie make. Another case in point is the torturous “Bhool Bhulaiyya”, an atrocious film Akshay single-handedly rescued at the Box Office. In fact most of his recent hits Namastey London, Bhool Bhulaiyya, and Welcome - were cinematic equivalents of crap, had it not been for him.

Dammit, he made nearly half an hour of “Tashan” bearable.

2) The Hit Jodi Factor

Several of Akshay Kumar’s latest hits had another thing in common the unfairly gorgeous Katrina Kaif. The Hit Jodi factor is as old as Bollywood itself from Raj-Nargis, to Amitabh-Rekha, to Anil-Madhuri, to SRK-Kajol and so on. The ‘it’ pair of today is Akshay-Katrina of course, with both having extensive fan followings and an enviable number of communities on Orkut dedicated to them. So we have the dedicated legions of drooling fans trooping to the theatres, doling out outrageous amounts of money at overpriced multiplexes, following every move of their idols on screen, lapping up anything and everything they say or do, and wearing or aspiring to wear anything they wear.

I wish I could say this was limited to teenagers, but sadly in India it isn’t. Indian audiences, for the large part, are still Star-struck. When a movie comes out, people don’t ask what it’s about or who the director is (unless it’s a Yash Chopra or Karan Johar movie), the first thing they ask is who’s in it. Unlike Hollywood, where promising but relatively unknown faces can headline the cast of a multimillion dollar blockbuster (Remember “Titanic”? Yes, those two were pretty obscure back then. Sounds ludicrous but its true), in India, people are most likely going to disapprove. Tomorrow, say, if Karan Johar makes a movie which has Vinay Pathak or Irrfan Khan in the lead role, it’s most likely that people will not be too thrilled “Serious type movie lag rahi hai… thhodi boring lag rahi hai”.

As for Katrina in SIK, she does her job well. That is, looking like a million bucks. Acting? Forget it. Teaching her to speak Hindi properly is probably tougher than teaching a politician to reject a bribe.

3) The Lowbrow Humor Factor

You know, with films like “Khosla Ka Ghosla” and “Bheja Fry” releasing and doing well, for a while I actually thought there was hope. I hoped that more films like these would be made so that our audiences would actually start appreciating good quality, subtle and situational humor. And the relative success of the above films really made me believe that. Alas, I forgot that certain directors who I’d mentioned above in Factor 1 and a smart combination of Factors 1 and 2 can result in instant dumbing-down-ness.

In SIK, where Akshay Kumar plays Happy Singh, we have to contend with Ranvir Sheorey mouthing cringe-worthy lines such as “Happy hi tumhe happy rakh sakta hai”. We’re expected to laugh at Sonu Sood’s frustrated voice-overs when he’s immobilized and wet ourselves when we actually see his blood boiling in a bag which explodes. We’re supposed to laugh ourselves silly when Akshay and Katrina inadvertently take saat pheras while Akshay shoots at the bad guys and holds onto Katrina’s hand, while the pandit keeps reciting the shloks. That was one ridiculous climax, although I’m sure at the very least Priyadarshan found it hilarious.

4) The “Rocking” Soundtrack Factor AKA The Pritam Factor

It’s almost like a recipe now. You have Akshay Kumar/Emraan Hashmi/a moderately talented or good looking ensemble cast in your movie. Your budget is in place. The scripterr well you have a basic structure and a couple of DVDs of Hollywood movies. Good enough. Now all you need is a “rocking” soundtrack which will feature a couple of songs which will jam the airwaves for 2 months before and after your film’s release. The songs will be irritatingly catchy and many will be humming it during their sleep as well. Annoyingly enough, the promos will refer to those songs as ‘anthems’. What do you do? Why, call Pritam of course!

Pritam is, undoubtedly, a very talented music director. He’s an even better music producer. He has a great ear for sound, does some very interesting arrangements, and has a great source of Korean/Indonesian/Arabian music from where he rips off some of his tunes. Add a few electric guitars, some throbbing electronic beats, some nicely layered harmonies featuring pointless rapping, and a ‘whoa-whoa’ chorus - and BANG! There you have it folks, the hit song of the year! At least, until the next film scored by Pritam comes up.

In SIK, Pritam does an adequate job in providing some generic bhangra and hip-hop tracks, also collaborating with Snoop Dogg in an utterly forgettable and pointless hip-hop track. As for background music (I’m not sure if Pritam did the B.G. score for this, but that’s not the point), when on earth will Bollywood realize that cramming every moment of the film with cheesy music does more harm than good? There were several comic scenes in the movie which would’ve worked infinitely better if the soundtrack had been silent. At least then the humour would’ve come out through the pauses, been a little more ambivalent, a little classier. However, when I’m listening to a robust and jovial sounding dhol and tumba in the background, I’m forced to swallow whatever’s being fed to me on the screen without chewing properly. I’m being told why this goddamn scene is funny.

To put it bluntly, the sad truth is that our film-makers still don’t know how to use background music effectively. They use it simply as another ingredient in that recipe they’re cooking up. ________________________________________________________________________

Sigh. But perhaps this is all just empty rhetoric. SIK surely isn’t that bad either, compared to the kind of trash that is otherwise churned out. However, it is the level of success that it has found that prompts me to write this. I wouldn’t have minded so much if it had been a moderate hit with a section of the audience. But when quality films such as “Mumbai Meri Jaan”, “Manorama Six Feet Under”, “Sehar”, “Dharm” etc. find almost NO takers at the box office, and movies like SIK meet with such phenomenal success, there is a pressing need for radical changes in both the industry as well as the audience.

I’m not against entertaining cinema; all I ask is that entertainment shouldn’t be at the cost of taking the audience for granted. There should be a basic datum level of realism, characterization and plausibility at least that must be adhered to. Script-writing and writers deserve some more respect and justice. And the industry needs to take the lead, for I’m not the first person to be disillusioned. Nor shall I be the last.